OricionSeis
i am lonely. are you there ?
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Wednesday, July 09, 2008
if i remember, you wrote something like "don't anyhow say" so lets take it that she has a mind of her own. well... if thats the case, theres nothing more i can do either. seriously, i wouldnt want to spend so much time wasted; thinking about this really. what i wanted was to be friends and know her better, and apparently like i mentioned earlier, "circumstances" do not allow me to do so. oh well..... i mean. u can get irritated for all you want. i am not being mean. i am not being anything. ------------------------------------------------------- before using the word "basturd" please check the dictionary before using it. thank you. ------------------------------------------------------- and yes... i am flawed, but who on earth is flawless. many i've seen, had dreams of their own, often unrealistic, naive and the usual materialistic nature of their own. dreams of their own man to be looking like some korean/japanese star, while some dream that their own husbands should look like taiwanese/thai chinese mix, and hopes that he will bring home a 100k / annum salary, and has a private apartment elsewhere other than singapore. really..... when you look at all these, it makes me wonder how greedy girls can get these days.... i maybe flawed, i may not have the above attributes, nor do i "qualify" to what your dream man could be. what i can offer is my kind and true heart, and my time and patience..... for i am not born with a gold/silver spoon, i will try my best to afford whatever she wishes, or to provide emotional and mental support in times of need. i cant' sing, i can't dance, i cant do basketball jumps as high as jordan, nor can i sing as well as those japanese/taiwanese/korean singers. what i have is a pair of good working hands, hands that i use to support myself, what i have is a brain. a brain; a mind and a little talent of mine to keep things going. and if there was one thing i would like her to have, that would be the best in the world. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ i maybe pissed while writing, but i am not expressing it physically on the outside. while each day i struggle internally, and emotionally, i just hope to find someone whom i can share my thoughts with. even this; is so difficult to achieve. while i understand that i am flawed, but lest i know where i stand. lest i know where i've flawed. and lest i am confident about where i flawed and make it up where it is. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- comments like this ; "go lose another 5kg and come back and discuss" the person who said this, i hope she goes back into the mirror first, and if there isnt one, write me your address, so i can have one life size standing mirror delivered to your doorstep ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Tuesday, July 08, 2008
just in case if you though i was joking. let me say. i am not. i do not care if this was even a infatuation in the first place, i guess i shouldnt even tell you in the first place. i didnt say what i felt in front of everyone, as i too, need to keep some face of mine. personally it disgusts me... you think you some overlord or controller of somebody ? personally, slowly you are making all sick about it. and its NOT up to U to decide whether if its a infatuation or not. so if she is fine being controlled, or being continually influenced by you, i guess there is nothing i can do. what i can only do is offer my best regards. seriously just in case u didnt know how pissed i was. really.... just to save a little face of mine. I AM UTTERLY PISSED WITH YOU. TAKE IT AND LEAVE IT. go tell the whole world or something... seriously... dun make me hate you, because i will not hesitate to do so. come on... ask how old is someone, but why didnt u take a look at yourself in the mirror ? i guess you do not even 10% what i have. please.... i am not looking down on you. but please. sometimes. before you even talk, i would appreciate if you could engage your brains a little. and yes... i am still pissed...... fuggin pissed.. Saturday, July 05, 2008
but i wanted to say is... i love your smile... ......... "I may have looked as if i have everything, but i don't want to be a lonely fool... but without you girl, my life is incomplete" ......... i guess. you are all i could ask for .... let me be the one you could rely on, and let me be the one you can depend on..... i love your smile..... and i want to see it again.
Friday, June 27, 2008
well. i had it enough really. i am sick of all the mis-promises you made, and i am now clear headed and i want to say is. i want to stop it all here. whether you like it or not. its not of my concern, or whether u did all those out of gratitude or for the sake of attention seeking, i do not care anymore. u need help. seek someone else. i think i had enough of you really, and why on earth did i even bother to help you in the first place. and seriously, although i felt you have changed, but really not enough to convince me at all.... --------------------------------------------------- and yes.... next YOU want some excitement in your life ? and because of the "excitement" you seek, you would rather go out with a 20yr old loser who drives his old, sissy, ugly, bike of his, going around hooking girls up. personally. all this shit. its totally very naive of you to even fall for such a dirt shit. and yes... i ONLY APPRECIATE,CARE,LOOK AFTER riders whom i know, and those who i DONT means they face a unknown danger should they see me on the road. personally i feel that motorcycles is for kids, or people who cannot afford a decent living, and of course.... i believe that he is working to support his old puny bike.... what a joke.. he cant even support himself. let alone support you and the bike... anyway. u wun see this... i will write it out here. i admit i used to like you, but i like you for who are, but not who you want to be. i believe you should be someone who is more toned down, more soft and all, rather than those kids out there, looking for excitement.... come on... whats riding a bike man.... wait till the day u fall over the bike, and never to stand up again, or even wake up... and thats what i call Good Game, and a very Exciting Game indeed. well done ! learn to love yourself more, before you want others to come into your life. and why i hesitate ? its because i felt that i needed more time to understand you thats all. just that my current situation doest allow me to do that..... ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- just in case nicolette reads tis... ur plastic cases are with me... $1 each, and i bought 2.... as promised...
9-1pm. doing nothing, but surfing forums, disturbing randy over at mr ng's class, and disturbing geri at mr ng's class at 12.... and yah.. day dreaming.... most unproductive day ever !!! and ok... today... raymond was kind enough to accompany me on a voyage of self-poison and pocket bleeding time, and yes, we went to a place where most girls will say "most boring shopping mall, ever created by a singaporean" and that is Funan.... and yeah.... went there, i was looking for the Razor Pro Click 1.6, and yeah !!! managed to grab a bundle, where it comes with a Pro Click V1.6 and a ProPad for $68.90..... and yeah lor grabbed it and went to get Raymond's super uber cool laptop cooler for $48. which i tot it will retail for like $60-70. super cool and fierce looking man. and i was at Inforcomm, the shop name is Inforcomm lah, it was selling the WD Essentials 500GB for $238 !! it was like $50 more expensive than those SLS shops lah !!!!! Essentials is now retailing for $158-169 for a 500GB edition, while Studio is going for $199 for 500GB.... still.. SLS is cheaper.... wayyyy cheaper. i am so going to grab one piece for my mbp or else it will start bloating up again.... ok... money bleed alot this month, end of the month, the $200, i guess half of it goes into the Mugen spoiler... omg..... so want to quicky get that installed in the car, and i would be 60-75% complete with my upgrades... heh. raymond, it has been a nice day talking with u and all.. and yes.. chris. we should talk about it sometime tomorrow if u have time, i am in your area thou.. AMK Ind Park 2. Tuesday, June 24, 2008
ich glaube dass Sie shouldn' der t-Versuch, zum meiner Gefühle für Gütegrund zu spielen, als ich emotional schwach war, kamen Sie in versuchtes, alles nehmend von mir ICH ERLAUBE NICHT DEN!!! geraline, u denken, dass ich für jene Art von Sachen falle, die u mich antat? oder haben Sie mich missverstand u, oder hat gewesenes i das egoistische. ich schätze, dass nur ich die Antwort habe. ich glaube, dass Sie versucht haben, etwas Aufmerksamkeit von mir zu suchen... Ich habe mein Bewusstsein wiedergewonnen und definitiv falle ich nicht für Ihre Tricks wieder. i' d ist eher einzeln, sorglos. als leben ein Leben verloren von den Richtungen und immer geschlossen. seine höchste Zeit, nun da ich aufwachen muss! !!! !!!
Monday, June 23, 2008
my father will be outstationed in Japan for 3-4 days... only..... and i may get the CHANCE to visit JAPAN with him....... and yes.... 3-4 days in JAPAN !!!!! OMG.... dream come true man... JAPAN !!! AHHHHhhhHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JAPAN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg... all the Anime, all the charbos.... all the sushi sashimi ! OMG! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! seriously come to think of if. i am still wondering are you wasting my time or even my efforts. this is not the way.... thiink about it....
Sunday, June 22, 2008
really. sometimes i wish you wouldn't need to work so hard. really. i will try my best to be there to support you. 2molo actually seems like a good day for me actually, but i guess i'll keep till monday. u should get more rest !!! (someone said i am a workaholic... heh... seems like someone else is a more workaholic than me... ) my main worry for u is u being burnt out... like me.. on the verge on burning out.. i hope u will not be like me... on the verge of burning out and may just as well some day lose my motivation when everyone is forging ahead. looking forward to see u again ok ? be healthy, be strong.. i am here. i will fight. fight for not your smile but for many the tommorows that await.
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it has been a long journey for me, to arrive where i wanted to belong for too long
been alone for some time. being hurt and quiet for too long.
the heart grows stone, and cold as time passes by, it grows weary...
awaiting for someone kind enough to give me warmth in this cruel and cold society we all live in
every now and then. someone appears.
every now and then, i see little hope that i might be able to find someone who understands me
but usually dashed when one was unable to love me for my flaws.
it has been tough so far.
really tough...
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